Boy. This is new territory for a gal like me, so used to speaking her mind! I have always been honest, sometimes to a fault. In innocuous ways this entails telling my hubby every salacious detail of a walk with our toddler, or the carnitas lunch I had at La Mission, the moment to moment progress of my sore toe etc. It also included stream of consciousness processing of my subconscious mindforms. Oh yes. Were you to be in my family, as my daughter or my husband, any random thought occurring to me, would make its way into YOUR brain. Several months ago, however, events conspired to alert me to the fact that, GUESS WHAT, not everyone is interested in sharing to that extent! I have really reined in, therefore, my tendencies to be "honest". I try very hard now, to not cross boundaries. Just as I do at school with my little ones, give space, observe, knowing that the less interference the better I now do at home. So that is a big Yippee!
At the moment I am looking at two situations in my life with two friends. One has a spouse who is being outrageous in some pretty socially unacceptable behavior and this friend is still in denial. Another is one who has gone back to a "dark side" spiritual teacher who really stifled and hurt her before; really crossing boundaries. This man does NOT treat people with dignity or respect whatsoever. She was so relieved to be OUT of the cult at one point and really found her voice again. Inexplicably she has returned. I've barely said anything at all regarding this turn of events, but did say one MILD thing and she has ceased speaking to me. I do have ways of contacting her if I choose, but I will not.
I'm holding my tongue in both situations. This is new territory. Wish me luck.
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2 comments:
I do feel ya' Trudy. I also have alot to say, about almost everything. And, due to some big situations in my life over the past 5-7 years, it has come to my childish attention that not everyone wants to hear it....even if I am right...LOL. Now, why do I want to be right? I can't honestly say. I have been reminded, time and time again, that the lessons of life will come at the right time, for me and others. I do trust the process, even when I am impatient. I am confident that your friend understands your love and intention - you will just have to wait and be there for her/him when the time is right. Hugs!!!
Moo, We should talk. Another Prolific Oven date coming up would be great.
Big situations in life are usually the circumstances for growth if we have a mind to.
What is blowing my mind, is how true it is that learning is a LIFE long process. Absolutely true. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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