Abuse of Power in Guru Land

I'll make it brief for today. This was said my Adyashanti, a teacher I've seen a few times. Never became a 'student' of his, but I do appreciate his point of view. Especially here when he says:

"What I tell people is that if you’re seeking enlightenment, your good sense is vital. In fact, you’re going to have to learn to trust it more and more. I think people actually know early on when something’s off about a teacher, but they think they must be wrong, because an enlightened person can’t do any wrong. And that’s not true. Enlightened people can do wrong. They can do harmful things."

My comment: HELL TO THE YES!

A little too Kind

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word,
"You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:14

I have wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody`s need made me blind;

But I have never yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.

anonymous

It's All.....Too Beautiful

Over bridge of sighs
To rest my eyes in shades of green
Under dreamin' spires
To Itchycoo Park, that's where I've been

What did you do there?
I got high
What did you feel there?
Well I cried
But why the tears then?
I'll tell you why
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful

I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be nice and have fun in the sun

I'll Tell you what I'll do (what will you do?)
I'd like to go there now with you
You can miss out school (won't that be cool)
Why got to learn the words of fools
What will we do there?
We'll get high
What will we touch there?
We'll Touch the sky
But why the tears there?
I'll tell you why

It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful

I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be nice and have fun in the sun

It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
It's all too beautiful
Ha! It's all too beautiful

Happy New Year to the Earth, Happy New Year to the People and all Creatures Great and Small

Let's Sage the White House - Get out all of Those Evil Spirits = Dark Energy

Kate Clinton said the idea grew from hearing about shamans who cleansed the area around Machu Picchu of evil spirits by saging after George Bush visited.

“We are going to meet in Washington at 6PM on January 19th at the new White House visitor's center,” Clinton said in a new interview. “We'll mill around there for a little bit. And then we're just gonna walk over towards the White House, or as close as we can get, with our little sage sticks and try to get out the bad spirits. So, we can clear out the bad spirits in time for the new Obama administration to come in on the next day.” (hundreds have signed up!)

http://lauraflanders.firedoglake.com/2008/12/19/saging-the-white-house/

above strategy superseded -

new meeting place & plan.....




This couldn't HURT......Indigenous people are onto something(s) alot deeper and more profound than our current level of human connection with the Soul of the World/Planet. Come to think of it, I'm gonna sage my house after the TV news broadcasting into my living room all of the horror going on in Gaza right now.....the heaviness is palpable. The sadness and deep psychic trauma of that circumstance is best left for another post entirely.

Maybe we should sage the entire planet, do a world-wide Puja....

And Now, for Something Completely Different

Well, I've got myself a head cold as of yesterday around lunch time.   Sneezed like I was getting paid for it, all day into the night.   Spent the afternoon on the computer listening to lectures on YouTube.   Had a limited night's sleep so I've been surfing the net today as I rest in bed, drinking tea.    In a conversation with a friend,  it was suggested I check out Red Ice Creations website which I did.    Found some very interesting info on, oh you know, Secret Societies,  Ancient Symbology, Astro-theology (Hi, Zacharia Sitchin, my old buddy....)  

Anywho, As Michael Tsarion (great series on YouTube entitled "The Origins of Evil" in 13 parts) kept mentioning the Atenists.....so I looked up Aten and here's what I found:

Here is wiki blurb:

Both Ra and Horus characteristics are part of the god, but the god is also considered to be both masculine and feminine simultaneously. All creation was thought to emanate from the god and to exist within the god. In particular, the god was not depicted in anthropomorphic (human) form, but as rays of light extending from the sun's disk. Furthermore, the god's name came to be written within a cartouche, along with the titles normally given to a Pharaoh, another break with ancient tradition.


Aten
The Aten, the sun-disk, first appears in texts dating to the 12th dynasty, in The Story of Sinuhe, where the deceased king is described as rising as god to the heavens and uniting with the sun-disk, the divine body merging with its maker.[2]
Ra-Horus, more usually referred to as Ra-Herakhty (Ra, who is Horus of the two horizons), is a synthesis of two other gods, both of which are attested from very early on. During the Amarna period, this synthesis was seen as the invisible source of energy of the sun god, of which the visible manifestation was the Aten, the solar disk. Thus Ra-Horus-Aten was a development of old ideas which came gradually. The real change, as some see it, was the apparent abandonment of all other gods, above all Amun, and the introduction of monotheism by Akhenaten.[3] The syncretism is readily apparent in the Great Hymn to the Aten in which Re-Herakhty, Shu and Aten are merged into the creator god.[4] Others see Akhenaten as a practitioner of an Aten monolatry.[5]

Pretty interesting eh?   The Sun (Son) rising to return to the Creator/Source/Light (Father).    This is even similar to the old Vedantists and Yogis of India saying that we are all a manifestation of Light and at death or total Enlightenment return to dissolve back into Light.   I can get with that.  :-)

Our god is a sun god, RA RA RA!
Our god is a fun god, RA RA RA!!! 

(feel free to wave your pom poms at any time)

Mark Twain Quote

I know for a FACT that what Mark Twain says here, is the Truth! ;-))


“We are always hearing of people who are around seeking after the Truth. I have never seen a permanent specimen. I think he has never lived. But I have seen several entirely sincere people who thought they were permanent Seekers after the Truth. They sought diligently, persistently, carefully, cautiously, profoundly, with perfect honesty and nicely adjusted judgment- until they believed that without doubt or question they had found the Truth. That was the end of the search. The man spent the rest of his life hunting up shingles wherewith to protect his Truth from the weather.”

– Samuel Clemens, What is Man?

Synchronicity

Well it's been quite a week. It has been an emotional high for me. Lots of tearing up and feelings of relief and I'll admit, some "payback' as I feel the power of my party of choice beginning to take over the White House. It feels so gooooooood.

What has simultaneously occurred is that people I knew in my former spiritual group/Sangha have contacted me within the past couple of weeks. Three of them I've not heard from in years. The commonality we all share now is some perspective at last on the circumstances which caused us to bail on this "spiritual" group. At first, we went through varying degrees of feeling traumatized and in need of space and healing.

My response was to remove myself utterly from the spiritual scene altogether. What I did for awhile was to attend an AA 12 step meditation group at Land of the Medicine Buddha in Soquel, near where I live. It was great; the people were inspirational but I felt out of place and a bit of an oddball, being that I've never been a drinker much at all, let alone an alcoholic. I just loved their vibe and the fact that they all were looking at their addictive behavior. Where does one find "Guru huggers Anonymous"? I was at a loss, so the meditation group was a stop gap measure. It served. Since I left that, I've not joined or participated in ANYTHING other than my beloved job, which has it own spiritual merits and benefits and my physical fitness program which also has similar benefits.

After hearing from my oldtime buddies I began to ponder once again, what is it that I've gained in my almost five years distant perspective on the whole spiritual game? (Realize that we all felt we'd been in a cultic situation, if not an outright cult). As I did my walk/jog in the redwood forest today (I know, I know, I'm a lucky duck to live here...) I was looking at what I'm left with in how I view the whole long strange trip it WAS. What has percolated up as bonafide Reality? What if any insight have I gained?

What came to mind was that what I trust, are those insights or feelings that reflect something Universal, something inclusive and wholistic. If there is a sense coming from any quarter of "All of this is ONLY God" or "Love is the guiding intelligence of my life", I can get with that. That feels trustworthy to me. Bob Marley's "One Love, One Heart, Let's get together and Feel Alright".....I can get with that. IF there is any personal reference or anyone making self congratulatory remarks about how great their revelations have been; how much wisdom they've gained, how, in ANY way, "special" they are....my B.S. detector goes "bzzzzzzzzzzt" and if it as if I am suddenly swimming in sharky waters and my instincts are to paddle AWAY man....and get to dry land!

So it's clear to me I've been successfully innoculated, FINALLY against the lure of these charismatic, spiritual "leaders" (Blech!) Yet it is refreshing and heartening to feel that, yeah, I can feel connected to the Unknowable Source, the Ground of Being and it's no-graven-image aspect feels supremely trustworthy.

Maybe there IS something to that biblical second commandment after all. Did I just make a biblical reference?? Yeah, I guess I did. Pssssssst...Chris Hitchens, I still love ya.....

Spiritual Hangover

I'm in this listserv, with some really great people. Most of them have invested huge amounts of time, as I have, in spiritual pursuits of one variety or another. Some have been with the same spiritual teachers as I've been, some have lived in Zen Monasteries, some are really Awake to "What Is So". Lately the threads have been positively transcendent and I'm taken aback by how unrelated to all of that, is my current mood. I've reproduced the bulk of what I wrote today to my friends, as a way to lay groundwork for more spiritual musings, possibly to come...

Hi Everybody.......

Reading these new threads has me feeling like I'm at a party and I'm either under-dressed or over-dressed or something. I'll settle on over-dressed.

Guys, I just have to tell you that, no matter than in my history I've had glimpses and satoris and all of that stuff that makes for great spiritual "oomphs", lately I am just not "there". It's like the wind has gone out of may sails, it's like I just can't ratchet myself up to wanna care about being enlightened, being awake or any of that. I feel as if I have been propelled backwards in time to a point BEFORE I was even introduced to allllllllllllll of that spiritual stuff.

It would be too easy to say "I blame (name withheld) ", it is just that ever since I became dis-illusioned with him as a guru and then gurus and spiritual groups altogether, I've back-slid into not giving a shit, really, about what I used to be passionate about. There I've said it. Is this some phase?

But I also have to say, at the same time, every once in awhile I'll get a pang, a stab in the heart when I re-member how innocent and devoted I used to be, when I recall all of a sudden, how I used to feel about Adi Da. MAN I loved him! MAN it was great to feel that what he said was Real and True and never ever doubt. I was so happy in that. As Bob once suggested to me, maybe I was looking for a Daddy. A perfect Parent.

Anybody know the story of the Velveteen Rabbit? Where the toy rabbit was so beloved to the boy, and the rabbit so served and loved the little boy that one day, the rabbit became Real? I think that was the sub-plot of my spiritual practice efforts. I thought and believed with all my heart that if I loved and served a Perfect Being I would become Real; like enter into the Magic Kingdom. Like live in a realm where all beings were kind to one another and everyone would have a Compassionate Buddha Heart and where the sun would shine brightly forever and no more night, no more death, no more hurts or pains or sicknesses, no more this world's troubles and that it would go on forever and ever because it was REAL. The ticket in was to become Real oneself.

I remember walking in my old neighborhood feeling so open and vulnerable and sensitive....and hearing out of a window an angry man yelling abuse at a little boy and the little boy trying to answer back and being shouted down and I just cried and felt intense pain. My heart was breaking and I wanted to BE in a place where that no longer happened to ANYBODY EVER again. I prayed "Please let there be some realm where there is only Peace, Kindness, tenderness, joy, please let it be true."

Was that my motive for the spiritual chase? Escape from pain? I'm thinking so. That is my best guess.

So spiritually speaking, I'm at square one again guys. I'm a spiritual boo-ba........still just toddling.....and I say one more thing, I'm in love with my own thoughts. I still am fascinated by all of the things my mind comes up with, I still am also fascinated by other people's ideas, thought-forms, expressions, it still holds interest for me. What does that mean?

Plus, I hold judgments aplenty, ie: think George Bush et al. reside in the depths of Mordor......and Dick cheney is the head Orc. I passionately WISH for a Progressive in the White House......I CARE about Global Warming and think Al Gore rocks.......I am very Earth oriented guys. I'm way less "other-worldly" than I used to be.

Yet, I know. In some part of me there is an on-going knowledge that I don't fear death, that it's all just what it IS and it is all a marvel and I'm grateful for all of the Everything. That nothing truly touches or tarnishes; that nothing ever happens to what Is Real.

But I just don't visit or hang out in that Knowing very often, whereas it used to be my passion. I think I still having a (name withheld) hangover. That's my account of it at any rate.

I just wanted to tell you all the true feelings I'm having and let you all in on it, so we can at least be real at the life level.

The Secret - BUSTED!

I have long since realized that the much touted "Secret" is bogus. The DVD was interesting, but it is so simplistic and the thinking "magical" that it was easy for me to disregard it. Of course, I have had the advantage of exposure to the Buddha and brilliant expositions such as The Heart Sutra. Exposure to "I Am That" by Sri Nisargadatta and exposure to non-dualism period. How many around the world, eagerly buying up copies of "The Secret" have been innoculated against such pie in the sky?

Anywho, a friend of mine, David, sent this email today regarding HIS take on the "Secret" :

e Secret Busted--- Flaws of the Secret.

Hi Folks!

I guess most of you have read or at least heard about "The Secret".

I think it was at that time that I was being drawn to Non duality and
was reading books like "I am That" .

That's why I could feel a slight confusion and there was a sort of
disconnect somewhere.

Here, "The Secret" tells you that you are the creator of everything
around you and it is our thoughts and our vibrations that we send out
to the universe that determine our lives.

"The secret" would have us believe that we are the most important
beings in the universe and everything else is there to fulfill our
wishes.
I guess it was our greed and wishful thinking which led us to believe
whatever "The Secret" tries to teach us.

Now, we come to Non duality where we are told that "you" are an
illusion. The ego doesn't exist. There is only beingness. In his
book " I am That", Nisargadatta Maharaj reveal that we are just the
witness of whatever happens.

Feelings arise, Thoughts arise --- You are just the witness of these.
All you do is watch the show.

In the words of the Buddha " Events happen, deeds are done.But there
is no individual doer of these deeds."

So, it becomes clear enough that we can either believe one of these.
Either there is no doer OR there is a doer who can think thoughts and
send vibrations out to the universe.

So, there is a choice for me -- I can believe Rhonda Byrne(Author of
The Secret) OR I could believe the Buddha.

I dont know about you but I would rather vote for The Buddha.

Even If you dont know about the buddha or Rhonda. What does your
experience say.

How many circumstances have you been able to control?

Well, I dont think that I can do justice to this topic in one blog
post but I will be adding more about this later.

So I end it here now with a quote from Ramesh Balsekar ---

"You have not controlled your birth, you are not going to control
your death. And you are not in control of anything in between"
posted by Faraz Ahmed @ 11:26 PM

How Can I Be Safe? Rumi and Adyashanti Answer...

"Where, where can I be safe?
Only in giving up all wanting and trying"

~Rumi



Human beings have a drive for security and safety, which is often
what fuels the spiritual search. This very drive for security and
safety is what causes so much misery and confusion. Freedom is a
state of complete and absolute insecurity and not knowing. So, in
seeking security and safety, you actually distance yourself from the
Freedom you want. There is no security in Freedom, at least not in
the sense that we normally think of it. This is, of course, why it is
so free; there's nothing there to grab hold of.
The Unknown is more vast, more open, more peaceful, and more freeing
than you ever imagined it would be. If you don't experience it that
way, it means you're not resting there; you're still trying to know.
That will cause you to suffer because you're choosing security over
Freedom.
When you rest deeply in the Unknown without trying to escape, your
experience becomes very vast. As the experience of the Unknown
deepens, your boundaries begin to dissolve. You realize, not just
intellectually but on a deep level, that you have no idea who or what
you are. A few minutes ago, you knew who you were—you had a history
and a personality—but from this place of not knowing, you question
all of that. Liberated people live in the Unknown and understand that
the only reason they know what they are is because they rest in the
Unknown moment by moment without defining who they are with the mind.
You can imagine how easy it is to get caught in the concept of the
Unknown and seek that instead of the Truth. If you seek the concept
you'll never be Free, but if you stop looking to myths and concepts
and become more interested in the Unknown than in what you know, the
door will be flung open. Until then, it will remain closed.

~Adyashanti

Sri Nisargadatta on War

As I bemoan the situation in Burma to my dear friend Bob, he listens patiently and then reminds me of this, and I thought to pass it along here:

: The war is on. What is your attitude to it?

M: In some place or other, in some form or other,
the war is always on. When was there a time when
there was no war? Some say it is the will of God.
Some say it is God's play. It is another way of
saying that wars are inevitable and nobody is responsible.

Q: But what is your own attitude?

M: Why impose attitudes on me? I have no attitudes
to call my own.

Q: Surely somebody is responsible for this horrible
and senseless carnage. Why do people kill each other
so readily?

M: Search for the culprit within. The ideas of 'me'
and 'mine' are at the root of all conflict.
Be free of them and you will be out of conflict.

Q: What of it that I am out of conflict? It will not
affect the war. If I am the cause of war, I am ready
to be destroyed. Yet it stands to reason that the
disappearance of a thousand like me will not stop the wars.
They did not start with my birth and they will not end
with my death. I am not responsible, so who is?

M: Strife and struggle are a part of existence.
Why don't you inquire who is responsible for existence?

Q: Why do you say that existence and conflict are
inseparable? Can there be no existence without strife?
I need not fight others to be myself.

M: You fight others all the time for your survival as
a separate body-mind, a particular name and form.
To live you must destroy. From the moment you were
conceived you started a war with your environment -
a merciless war of mutual extermination,
until death sets you free.

Q: My question remains unanswered. You are merely
describing what I know - life and its sorrows.
But who is responsible you do not say. When I press you,
you throw the blame on God, or karma, or my own greed
and fear - which merely invites further questions.
Give me the final answer.

M: The final answer is this: nothing is.
All is a momentary appearance in the field of universal
consciousness; continuity as a name, and form as a mental
formation only, easy to dispel.

Q: I am asking about the immediate, the transitory,
the appearance. Here is a picture of a child killed
by soldiers. It is a fact - staring at you.
You cannot deny it. Now, who is responsible
for the death of the child?

M: Nobody and everybody.
The world is what it contains and each thing affects
all others. We all kill the child and we all die with it.
Every event has innumerable causes and produces
numberless effects. It is useless to keep accounts,
nothing is traceable.

Q: Your people speak of karma and retribution.

M: It is merely a gross approximation: in reality
we are all creators and creatures of each other,
causing and bearing each other's burden.

~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, "I Am That"

Bowl of Saki (Don't let it get you down, it's only castles burning....)

I've been hearing so much lately about the private contractors in Iraq, Blackwater and Halliburton, the companies on board with the perpetrators of the "Shock and Awe" theory. It started way back in the 1950's in Universities and psychology departments and psychiatric hospitals. After listening to an hour segment on "Democracy Now' yesterday, I felt seriously disheartened, which is a common danger for those who truly pay attention to what is bubbling beneath the surface of things. The slimey muck from which such ideas as "water-boarding" and suspension of Habeus Corpus arise. Sigh....

Today in my inbox, however I received a reminder not to become heavy-laden by the woes I witness. Because I know so many who tread each day between disgust and hope, I offer this:


To become cold from the coldness of the world is weakness, to become broken by the hardness of the world is feebleness, but to live in the world and yet to keep above it is like walking on the water.

Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

The spiritual path is easiest if there is not something pulling one from behind; and that force is the life in the world, one's friends, surroundings, acquaintances, and one's foes. Remain, therefore, in the world as a traveler making a station on his way. Do all the good you can to serve and succor humanity, but escape attachment. By this in no way will you prove to be loveless. On the contrary, it is attachment which divides love, and love raised above attachment is like a rain from above nourishing all the plants upon the earth.

There is only one thing that helps us to rise above conditions, and that is a change of outlook on life. This change is made practicable by a change of attitude. .. For a Sufi, therefore, not only patience to bear all things is necessary, but to see all things from a certain point of view that can relieve him for that moment from difficulty and pain. Very often it is one's outlook which changes a person's whole life. It can turn hell into heaven, it can turn sorrow into joy. When a person looks from a certain point of view, every little pin-prick feels like the point of a sword piercing his heart. If he looks at the same thing from a different point of view, the heart becomes sting-proof. Nothing can touch it. All things which are sent forth at that person as bullets drop down without every having touched him.

What is the meaning of walking upon the water? Life is symbolized as water. There is one person who drowns in the water, there is another who swims in the water, but there is still another who walks upon it. The one who is so sensitive that, after one little pin prick he is unhappy throughout the day and night is the man of the first category. The one who takes and gives back and makes a game of life is the swimmer. He does not mind if he receives one knock, for he derives satisfaction from being able to give two knocks in return. But the one whom nothing can touch is in the world and yet is above the world. He is the one who walks upon the water; life is under his feet, both its joy an its sorrow.

Verily, independence and indifference are the two wings which enable the soul to fly.

To become cold with the coldness of the world is weakness, and to become broken by the hardness of the world is feebleness, but to live in the world and yet to keep above the world is like walking on the water. There are two essential duties for the man of wisdom and love; that is to keep the love in our nature ever increasing and expanding, and to strengthen the will so that the heart may not be easily broken. Balance is ideal in life; one must be fine and yet strong, one must be loving and yet powerful.

- posted to SufiMystic

A Strange Circularity

I sometimes have correspondence with an old, dear friend named Tony who happened to belong to a "spiritual" group where I also was a member. This group had a teacher, a good man, a decent fellow, but someone with whom many became disillusioned as a spiritual guide or leader. The disillusioned folks left the group but many still maintain contact with one another, because we DID have a strong bond of love which survives to this day.

Recently, on a very small listserv moderated by a Catholic monk (a VERY dear fellow!) Tony and I had the following exchange. Tony had some observations that are representative of those that many of us have had, following our engagement with spiritual groups of one type or another. I responded and the correspondence is what follows:



--- Tony said:

I was looking up all the remarkable URL’s out there
so kindly provided by
Monk and I had this rather strange thought.

There is so much information and advice out there
about spirituality, the
spiritual search and spiritual practice.

There is masses of information on how to discipline
the mind, meditation
practice, spiritual practice, academic tomes on
mysticism to be read, dating
back to Grecian times.

Trudy said:

A dazzling array yes? I used to find myself totally
kerbobbled by reading a variety of spiritual books and
essays by teachers. Not only is there a plethora of
information, much of it is contradictory! Pity the
poor spiritual seeker who really wants to get the
spiritual gold nugget, but must sift through mountains
of verbal silt. Ack!


Tony:

I was also wondering about Mother Theresa’s inner
life that her recently
published letters reveal.
Searching for God who appeared to have left her.

Trudy:

*Now this is a very interesting case.
Publicly, M. Teresa was an icon of faith and deep
personal love for God. Privately, she suffered
tremendous doubts even to the point of doubting the
very existence of God; beyond simply doubting if she
were worthy enough to feel/receive God's love or
tangible presence.

What is boggling to me is that the Catholic Church
with it's pantheon of saints;( I mean this church is
nothing if not a Hall of Fame for saintly folks who've
really immersed themselves in the life of Spirit)
couldn't come up with anything better than the weak
responses from the priests with whom M. Teresa had
correspondence. These people have a treasure trove
of spiritual literature from some truly great and
insightful saints like Teresa of Avila, St. John of
the Cross, St. Francis, Meister Eckart, for godsake!
Why didn't they suggest that poor M. Teresa read the
thoughts and experiences of some of these other folk,
who like her, had experienced dry spiritual spells,
dark nights of the soul etc.......the spiritual desert
as it were? Is the Church THAT out of touch with its
own history and stellar clergy? Can't fathom this
one.

Tony:

I was reminded of my friend who had joined a gym.

She said that her goal was to get really fit.

I asked her about sport and physical activity. Did
she play any sport? No
she did not.

Was she engaged in any physical activity like
dancing tramping,
mountaineering, that required a level of physical
fitness beyond ordinary
everyday activities?

No she was not.

I was puzzled by this.

Then I realized what was puzzling.

She was engaged in getting fit, in order to get fit
to go to the gym.

There is the saying, “It is better to travel
hopefully than to arrive”.

Does all this spiritual practice, spiritual
discipline, all this searching
about just make for a more interesting search?

Trudy:


* For many I believe it certainly does.
For more serious others, I believe it does for awhile
and then they realize the fruitlessness of the
"search' per se. Being bereft is a benefit, if you
will, of the unfulfilling search. Once you get to
that place, you have the opportunity to question your
assumptions. You have the opportunity to questions
your beliefs altogether and perhaps for the first
time, take a virgin, pristine look at simply what IS.
Unencumbered by a set of beliefs or assumptions,
perception can shift. Maybe even, a person can get
out of verbal mind, and have a somatic experience of
Reality, hmm?



It seems to get folk better at searching.

If one had actually found what one was looking for
wouldn’t the search be
over?

Has the spiritual search become more important than
finding anything?

Or is it that one is not particularly happy with
what one has found?

Trudy:

*I think for a lot of people, this is
exactly the case. Death of cherished beliefs can be
hard for many and the risk is that they become so
disenchanted, SO disillusioned that they become bitter
and cynical, RATHER than becoming more wide open with
the bittersweet philosophical approach to life of "I
don't know."

My two cents.

Love,
Trudy



Tony

Ashtavakra Gita

There is no being or non-being,

no unity or dualism.

What more is there to say?

There is nothing outside of me.

- Ashtavakra Gita

Mother Teresa's Doubts and Angst

I purchased yesterday a copy of the latest Times magazine with Mother Teresa on the cover. The cover story is the about the new autobiography just released entitled "Come Be My Light" written by confidants of Mother Teresa. As many now know, the book contains a series of letters in which Mother Teresa wrote of her feelings of spiritual emptiness, spiritual dryness and a heart and soul bereft of comfort.

I have to say as I read this story and the descriptions of her many dark years, I couldn't help but reject all of the spritual "dark night of the soul" explanations that the Church and others are putting forward. Likewise I couldn't agree with Christopher Hitchens' (author of newly released book "god is not Great") assessment that Teresa had early on realized that the entire Christian doctrine was false and that she carried on nonetheless; a supreme hypocrite. These explanations don't meet the test of Occam's razor in my view.

No, what I came away with was the distinct feeling that here was a woman who was in the throes of a deep and prolonged depression. Her notes, her letters sound exactly like the thoughts and descriptions of flat and deadened affect that are hallmarks of clinical depression. She tells of feeling as if OTHERS have the love of God for them, that everyone is loved but that she, somehow feels cut off from all love, joy, acceptance. That also, is a classic sensation of depression.

What is amazing is that she carried on with her work, despite these emotionally debilitating, dare I say, symptoms? I have great sympathy for Mother Teresa, for I too, have had a depression lasting from 1995-1997 which I myself, attributed to a "spiritual" crisis. For two years I believed that I too, had been cut off from the Presence of the Divine and all that entails in the form of joy, relatedness, peace, vigor, love of Life etc. I tried to pray my way back, meditate my way back, read spiritual self-help books, went on retreats and so on. It wasn't until my doctor said to me "I have watched you struggle for two years, more than any other patient I've had, won't you now, PLEASE try some anti-depressants, just to see if they might make a difference?" I had been fighting him for two years because I was sure, dead to rights, that it was a SPIRITUAL problem and I did not want drugs. I just needed to be a better devotee! I just needed to pray harder! At this point, however, I gave in, because I finally was exhausted and bereft of any other hope. Within three weeks time, I was, as they say back to my "old self". I regained my appetite, I was sleeping well, I felt connected to my friends and family, I was laughing again, I was optimistic again; I was fundamentally happy. I said to my doctor "So all along what I was suffering was an imbalance in brain chemistry??!" He said "It looks that way, doesn't it?"
I took the anti-depressants until 2001.

I can't help but wonder, what would have happened to Mother Teresa had she seen a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Most likely she would not have accepted a medical diagnosis, as her entire frame of reference WAS of the religious and spiritual world.

It was difficult for me to accept the idea of being on anti-depressants, as spiritually inclined woman. At one point, in the beginning months I consulted with a minister in the Ananda Church to which I belonged and told her that it felt strange to be on drugs and if it was "unspiritual" to rely on them rather than on the Divine alone. She looked at me and asked "Do they help you to be a better mother? A better wife? A person who can function and be present in the world?" I nodded yes and she said "Then I would look on those meds as the bloody Eucharist! A GIFT from God to you!"

I wonder what Teresa's life could have been like, had she perhaps also had a similar "gift from God". At least long enough to notice that she was connected, included, and in her heart, at peace.

Mother Teresa FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE 2: DESTENI

I plan to write about Mother Teresa, but in the meanwhile, a friend sent this to me via a small listserv to which I belong. Great timing and a compelling message. I sincerely do hope this is Mother Teresa's realization. Check it out!

The Greening of the Pope!

On September 2, the Pope addressed a crowd of Italian youth about the need to 'save the planet'. He even chose to wear green vestments as a sign of his commitment. Now, if he would just endorse Al Gore for US President, it might help to draft the Inconvenient One into the race! ;-) Regardless, I have to post this story as I often chide the Catholic church but there are some things they do that I consider to be right on, and this is something in that category.

LORETO, Italy - Pope Benedict, leading the Catholic Church’s first “eco-friendly” youth rally, on Sunday told up to half a million people that world leaders must make courageous decisions to save the planet “before it is too late.”

“A decisive ’yes’ is needed in decisions to safeguard creation as well as a strong commitment to reverse tendencies that risk leading to irreversible situations of degradation,” the 80-year old Pope said in his homily.

Intentionally wearing green vestments, he spoke to a vast crowd of mostly young people sprawled over a massive hillside near the Adriatic city of Loreto on the day Italy’s Catholic Church marks it annual Save Creation Day.

More than 300,000 of them had slept on blankets and in tents or prayed during the night. Organizers said they were joined by some 200,000 more people who arrived from throughout Italy on Sunday morning.

“New generations will be entrusted with the future of the planet, which bears clear signs of a type of development that has not always protected nature’s delicate equilibriums,” the Pope said, speaking to the crowd from a massive white stage.

'Alliance between man and earth'
Making one of his strongest environmental appeals to date Benedict said: “Courageous choices that can re-create a strong alliance between man and earth must be made before it is too late.”

The two-day rally the Pope closed with a Sunday morning mass was the first environmentally friendly youth rally, a break from past gatherings that left tonnes of garbage and scars on the earth.

A participants’ kit included backpacks made of recyclable material, a flashlight operated by a crank instead of batteries, and color-coded trash bags so their personal garbage could be easily recycled. Meals were served on biodegradable plates.

Tens of thousands of prayer books for Sunday’s mass were printed on recycled paper and an adequate number of trees would be planted to compensate for the carbon produced at the event, many in areas of southern Italy devastated by recent brushfires.

Under Benedict and his predecessor John Paul, the Vatican has become progressively “green.” It has installed photovoltaic cells on buildings to produce electricity and hosted a scientific conference to discuss the ramifications of global warming and climate change.

Last month Benedict said the human race must listen to “the voice of the Earth” or risk destroying its very existence.

Loreto is famous in the Catholic world for the “holy house of the Madonna” a small stone structure purported to be where Mary grew up in the Holy Land and where she was told by an angel she would give birth to Jesus although a virgin.

According to popular legend, it was “flown” by angels from the Holy Land in the 13th century to save it from Muslim armies.

Re: Jesus loves you

Happy Sunday and all that. This simple little video summarizes my take on the entire Christian belief system. Have a look and listen here.

Mother Teresa's Doubts and Angst

I will offer this news item first with an editorial post to follow tomorrow. I find this story extremely poignat:

Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:39 PM ET


By Daniel Trotta

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A book of letters written by Mother Teresa of Calcutta reveals for the first time that she was deeply tormented about her faith and suffered periods of doubt about God.

"Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear," she wrote the Rev. Michael van der Peet in September 1979.

Due out on September 4, "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light" is a collection of letters written to colleagues and superiors over 66 years. In the United States it will be published by Doubleday, an imprint of Random House, which is owned by German media group Bertelsmann.

The ethnic Albanian Roman Catholic nun, who dedicated her life to poor, sick and dying in India, died in 1997 aged 87.

Mother Teresa had wanted all her letters destroyed, but the Vatican ordered they be preserved as potential relics of a saint, a spokeswoman for Doubleday said.

Mother Teresa has been beatified but not yet canonized.

Time magazine, which has first serial rights, published excerpts on its Web site.

"I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God -- tender, personal love," she wrote to one adviser. "If you were (there), you would have said, 'What hypocrisy.'"

The book was compiled and edited by the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, a proponent of her sainthood and senior member of the Missionaries of Charity order that she founded.

The letters likely would do little to affect her cause for sainthood as church history is dotted with saints who have been tormented about their faith.

Saint Thomas the Apostle -- the "Doubting Thomas" -- doubted that Jesus had risen from the dead until, according to scripture, he touches the wound of a resurrected Jesus. Christ himself wondered "God, why have you forsaken me" while on the cross, the Bible says.

But the Mother Teresa letters nonetheless stand in marked contrast to her public image as a selfless and tireless minister for the poor who was driven by faith.

"I've never read a saint's life where the saint has such an intense spiritual darkness. No one knew she was that tormented," the Rev. James Martin, an editor at Jesuit magazine America and the author of "My Life with the Saints," told Time.

THE DARK LETTERS

The writings address numerous topics, but the ones most likely to create a stir are what Doubleday called the "dark letters."

"Please pray specially for me that I may not spoil His work and that Our Lord may show Himself -- for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead," she wrote in 1953. "It has been like this more or less from the time I started 'the work.'"

Then in 1956: "Such deep longing for God -- and ... repulsed -- empty -- no faith -- no love -- no zeal. (Saving) souls holds no attraction -- Heaven means nothing -- pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything."

And then in 1959: "If there be no God -- there can be no soul -- if there is no Soul then Jesus -- You also are not true."

At times she also found it hard to pray.

"I utter words of community prayers -- and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give -- but my prayer of union is not there any longer -- I no longer pray."