I purchased yesterday a copy of the latest Times magazine with Mother Teresa on the cover. The cover story is the about the new autobiography just released entitled "Come Be My Light" written by confidants of Mother Teresa. As many now know, the book contains a series of letters in which Mother Teresa wrote of her feelings of spiritual emptiness, spiritual dryness and a heart and soul bereft of comfort.
I have to say as I read this story and the descriptions of her many dark years, I couldn't help but reject all of the spritual "dark night of the soul" explanations that the Church and others are putting forward. Likewise I couldn't agree with Christopher Hitchens' (author of newly released book "god is not Great") assessment that Teresa had early on realized that the entire Christian doctrine was false and that she carried on nonetheless; a supreme hypocrite. These explanations don't meet the test of Occam's razor in my view.
No, what I came away with was the distinct feeling that here was a woman who was in the throes of a deep and prolonged depression. Her notes, her letters sound exactly like the thoughts and descriptions of flat and deadened affect that are hallmarks of clinical depression. She tells of feeling as if OTHERS have the love of God for them, that everyone is loved but that she, somehow feels cut off from all love, joy, acceptance. That also, is a classic sensation of depression.
What is amazing is that she carried on with her work, despite these emotionally debilitating, dare I say, symptoms? I have great sympathy for Mother Teresa, for I too, have had a depression lasting from 1995-1997 which I myself, attributed to a "spiritual" crisis. For two years I believed that I too, had been cut off from the Presence of the Divine and all that entails in the form of joy, relatedness, peace, vigor, love of Life etc. I tried to pray my way back, meditate my way back, read spiritual self-help books, went on retreats and so on. It wasn't until my doctor said to me "I have watched you struggle for two years, more than any other patient I've had, won't you now, PLEASE try some anti-depressants, just to see if they might make a difference?" I had been fighting him for two years because I was sure, dead to rights, that it was a SPIRITUAL problem and I did not want drugs. I just needed to be a better devotee! I just needed to pray harder! At this point, however, I gave in, because I finally was exhausted and bereft of any other hope. Within three weeks time, I was, as they say back to my "old self". I regained my appetite, I was sleeping well, I felt connected to my friends and family, I was laughing again, I was optimistic again; I was fundamentally happy. I said to my doctor "So all along what I was suffering was an imbalance in brain chemistry??!" He said "It looks that way, doesn't it?"
I took the anti-depressants until 2001.
I can't help but wonder, what would have happened to Mother Teresa had she seen a psychologist or a psychiatrist? Most likely she would not have accepted a medical diagnosis, as her entire frame of reference WAS of the religious and spiritual world.
It was difficult for me to accept the idea of being on anti-depressants, as spiritually inclined woman. At one point, in the beginning months I consulted with a minister in the Ananda Church to which I belonged and told her that it felt strange to be on drugs and if it was "unspiritual" to rely on them rather than on the Divine alone. She looked at me and asked "Do they help you to be a better mother? A better wife? A person who can function and be present in the world?" I nodded yes and she said "Then I would look on those meds as the bloody Eucharist! A GIFT from God to you!"
I wonder what Teresa's life could have been like, had she perhaps also had a similar "gift from God". At least long enough to notice that she was connected, included, and in her heart, at peace.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Thank you, thank you Luciano Pavarotti!
Luciano Pavarotti has died at the age of 71. What a beautiful gift he shared with the world. My husband and I have a video of him singing in one of the "Three Tenors" appearances on PBS and it is an all time favorite.
He had the voice of an angel and had the capability to move me (and millions) to tears.
Thank you Signore Pavarotti, and once again, bravo!! Bravo!!
He had the voice of an angel and had the capability to move me (and millions) to tears.
Thank you Signore Pavarotti, and once again, bravo!! Bravo!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Cheney Instructs Fox News, Wall Street Journal to Sell Iran War
God, I feel sick over this because I do believe it 100%. We are going to be at war with Iran within a year's time. Cheney has it all figured out. Read all about it here in the New Yorker magazine. A story from August 31st. Read it and weep.
The New Yorker
August 31, 2007
Test Marketing
If there were a threat level on the possibility of war with Iran, it might have just gone up to orange. Barnett Rubin, the highly respected Afghanistan expert at New York University, has written an account of a conversation with a friend who has connections to someone at a neoconservative institution in Washington. Rubin can’t confirm his friend’s story; neither can I. But it’s worth a heads-up:
They [the source’s institution] have “instructions” (yes, that was the word used) from the Office of the Vice-President to roll out a campaign for war with Iran in the week after Labor Day; it will be coordinated with the American Enterprise Institute, the Wall Street Journal, the Weekly Standard, Commentary, Fox, and the usual suspects. It will be heavy sustained assault on the airwaves, designed to knock public sentiment into a position from which a war can be maintained. Evidently they don’t think they’ll ever get majority support for this—they want something like 35-40 percent support, which in their book is “plenty.”
True? I don’t know. Plausible? Absolutely. It follows the pattern of the P.R. campaign that started around this time in 2002 and led to the Iraq war. The President’s rhetoric on Iran has been nothing short of bellicose lately, warning of “the shadow of a nuclear holocaust.” And the Iranian government’s behavior—detaining British servicemen and arresting American passport holders, pushing ahead with uranium enrichment, and, by many reliable accounts, increasing its funding and training for anti-American militias in Iraq—seems intentionally provocative. Perhaps President Ahmedinejad and the mullahs feel that they win either way: they humiliate the superpower if it doesn’t take the bait, and they shore up their deeply unpopular regime at home if it does. Preëmptive war requires calculations (and, often, miscalculations) on two sides, not just one, as Saddam learned in 2003. When tensions are this high between two countries and powerful factions in both act as if hostilities are in their interest, war is likely to follow.
It’s one thing for the American Enterprise Institute, the Weekly Standard, et al to champion a war they support. It’s another to jump like circus animals at the crack of the White House whip. If the propaganda campaign predicted by Rubin’s friend is launched, less subservient news organizations should ask certain questions, and keep asking them: Does the Administration expect the Iranian regime to fall in the event of an attack? If yes, what will replace it? If no (and it will not), why would the Administration deliberately set about to strengthen the regime’s hold on power? What will the Administration do to protect highly vulnerable American lives and interests in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around the world against the Iranian reprisals that will follow? What if Iran strikes against Israel? What will be the strategy when the Iranian nuclear program, damaged but not destroyed, resumes? How will the Administration handle the international alarm and opprobrium that would be an attack’s inevitable fallout?
If this really is a return to the early fall of 2002 all over again, then I’m fairly sure that no one at the top of the Administration is worrying about the answers.
Postscript: Barnett Rubin just called me. His source spoke with a neocon think-tanker who corroborated the story of the propaganda campaign and had this to say about it: “I am a Republican. I am a conservative. But I’m not a raging lunatic. This is lunatic.”
The New Yorker
August 31, 2007
Test Marketing
If there were a threat level on the possibility of war with Iran, it might have just gone up to orange. Barnett Rubin, the highly respected Afghanistan expert at New York University, has written an account of a conversation with a friend who has connections to someone at a neoconservative institution in Washington. Rubin can’t confirm his friend’s story; neither can I. But it’s worth a heads-up:
They [the source’s institution] have “instructions” (yes, that was the word used) from the Office of the Vice-President to roll out a campaign for war with Iran in the week after Labor Day; it will be coordinated with the American Enterprise Institute, the Wall Street Journal, the Weekly Standard, Commentary, Fox, and the usual suspects. It will be heavy sustained assault on the airwaves, designed to knock public sentiment into a position from which a war can be maintained. Evidently they don’t think they’ll ever get majority support for this—they want something like 35-40 percent support, which in their book is “plenty.”
True? I don’t know. Plausible? Absolutely. It follows the pattern of the P.R. campaign that started around this time in 2002 and led to the Iraq war. The President’s rhetoric on Iran has been nothing short of bellicose lately, warning of “the shadow of a nuclear holocaust.” And the Iranian government’s behavior—detaining British servicemen and arresting American passport holders, pushing ahead with uranium enrichment, and, by many reliable accounts, increasing its funding and training for anti-American militias in Iraq—seems intentionally provocative. Perhaps President Ahmedinejad and the mullahs feel that they win either way: they humiliate the superpower if it doesn’t take the bait, and they shore up their deeply unpopular regime at home if it does. Preëmptive war requires calculations (and, often, miscalculations) on two sides, not just one, as Saddam learned in 2003. When tensions are this high between two countries and powerful factions in both act as if hostilities are in their interest, war is likely to follow.
It’s one thing for the American Enterprise Institute, the Weekly Standard, et al to champion a war they support. It’s another to jump like circus animals at the crack of the White House whip. If the propaganda campaign predicted by Rubin’s friend is launched, less subservient news organizations should ask certain questions, and keep asking them: Does the Administration expect the Iranian regime to fall in the event of an attack? If yes, what will replace it? If no (and it will not), why would the Administration deliberately set about to strengthen the regime’s hold on power? What will the Administration do to protect highly vulnerable American lives and interests in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around the world against the Iranian reprisals that will follow? What if Iran strikes against Israel? What will be the strategy when the Iranian nuclear program, damaged but not destroyed, resumes? How will the Administration handle the international alarm and opprobrium that would be an attack’s inevitable fallout?
If this really is a return to the early fall of 2002 all over again, then I’m fairly sure that no one at the top of the Administration is worrying about the answers.
Postscript: Barnett Rubin just called me. His source spoke with a neocon think-tanker who corroborated the story of the propaganda campaign and had this to say about it: “I am a Republican. I am a conservative. But I’m not a raging lunatic. This is lunatic.”
Mother Teresa FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE 2: DESTENI
I plan to write about Mother Teresa, but in the meanwhile, a friend sent this to me via a small listserv to which I belong. Great timing and a compelling message. I sincerely do hope this is Mother Teresa's realization. Check it out!
The Greening of the Pope!
On September 2, the Pope addressed a crowd of Italian youth about the need to 'save the planet'. He even chose to wear green vestments as a sign of his commitment. Now, if he would just endorse Al Gore for US President, it might help to draft the Inconvenient One into the race! ;-) Regardless, I have to post this story as I often chide the Catholic church but there are some things they do that I consider to be right on, and this is something in that category.
LORETO, Italy - Pope Benedict, leading the Catholic Church’s first “eco-friendly” youth rally, on Sunday told up to half a million people that world leaders must make courageous decisions to save the planet “before it is too late.”
“A decisive ’yes’ is needed in decisions to safeguard creation as well as a strong commitment to reverse tendencies that risk leading to irreversible situations of degradation,” the 80-year old Pope said in his homily.
Intentionally wearing green vestments, he spoke to a vast crowd of mostly young people sprawled over a massive hillside near the Adriatic city of Loreto on the day Italy’s Catholic Church marks it annual Save Creation Day.
More than 300,000 of them had slept on blankets and in tents or prayed during the night. Organizers said they were joined by some 200,000 more people who arrived from throughout Italy on Sunday morning.
“New generations will be entrusted with the future of the planet, which bears clear signs of a type of development that has not always protected nature’s delicate equilibriums,” the Pope said, speaking to the crowd from a massive white stage.
'Alliance between man and earth'
Making one of his strongest environmental appeals to date Benedict said: “Courageous choices that can re-create a strong alliance between man and earth must be made before it is too late.”
The two-day rally the Pope closed with a Sunday morning mass was the first environmentally friendly youth rally, a break from past gatherings that left tonnes of garbage and scars on the earth.
A participants’ kit included backpacks made of recyclable material, a flashlight operated by a crank instead of batteries, and color-coded trash bags so their personal garbage could be easily recycled. Meals were served on biodegradable plates.
Tens of thousands of prayer books for Sunday’s mass were printed on recycled paper and an adequate number of trees would be planted to compensate for the carbon produced at the event, many in areas of southern Italy devastated by recent brushfires.
Under Benedict and his predecessor John Paul, the Vatican has become progressively “green.” It has installed photovoltaic cells on buildings to produce electricity and hosted a scientific conference to discuss the ramifications of global warming and climate change.
Last month Benedict said the human race must listen to “the voice of the Earth” or risk destroying its very existence.
Loreto is famous in the Catholic world for the “holy house of the Madonna” a small stone structure purported to be where Mary grew up in the Holy Land and where she was told by an angel she would give birth to Jesus although a virgin.
According to popular legend, it was “flown” by angels from the Holy Land in the 13th century to save it from Muslim armies.
LORETO, Italy - Pope Benedict, leading the Catholic Church’s first “eco-friendly” youth rally, on Sunday told up to half a million people that world leaders must make courageous decisions to save the planet “before it is too late.”
“A decisive ’yes’ is needed in decisions to safeguard creation as well as a strong commitment to reverse tendencies that risk leading to irreversible situations of degradation,” the 80-year old Pope said in his homily.
Intentionally wearing green vestments, he spoke to a vast crowd of mostly young people sprawled over a massive hillside near the Adriatic city of Loreto on the day Italy’s Catholic Church marks it annual Save Creation Day.
More than 300,000 of them had slept on blankets and in tents or prayed during the night. Organizers said they were joined by some 200,000 more people who arrived from throughout Italy on Sunday morning.
“New generations will be entrusted with the future of the planet, which bears clear signs of a type of development that has not always protected nature’s delicate equilibriums,” the Pope said, speaking to the crowd from a massive white stage.
'Alliance between man and earth'
Making one of his strongest environmental appeals to date Benedict said: “Courageous choices that can re-create a strong alliance between man and earth must be made before it is too late.”
The two-day rally the Pope closed with a Sunday morning mass was the first environmentally friendly youth rally, a break from past gatherings that left tonnes of garbage and scars on the earth.
A participants’ kit included backpacks made of recyclable material, a flashlight operated by a crank instead of batteries, and color-coded trash bags so their personal garbage could be easily recycled. Meals were served on biodegradable plates.
Tens of thousands of prayer books for Sunday’s mass were printed on recycled paper and an adequate number of trees would be planted to compensate for the carbon produced at the event, many in areas of southern Italy devastated by recent brushfires.
Under Benedict and his predecessor John Paul, the Vatican has become progressively “green.” It has installed photovoltaic cells on buildings to produce electricity and hosted a scientific conference to discuss the ramifications of global warming and climate change.
Last month Benedict said the human race must listen to “the voice of the Earth” or risk destroying its very existence.
Loreto is famous in the Catholic world for the “holy house of the Madonna” a small stone structure purported to be where Mary grew up in the Holy Land and where she was told by an angel she would give birth to Jesus although a virgin.
According to popular legend, it was “flown” by angels from the Holy Land in the 13th century to save it from Muslim armies.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Re: Jesus loves you
Happy Sunday and all that. This simple little video summarizes my take on the entire Christian belief system. Have a look and listen here.
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