Boy. This is new territory for a gal like me, so used to speaking her mind! I have always been honest, sometimes to a fault. In innocuous ways this entails telling my hubby every salacious detail of a walk with our toddler, or the carnitas lunch I had at La Mission, the moment to moment progress of my sore toe etc. It also included stream of consciousness processing of my subconscious mindforms. Oh yes. Were you to be in my family, as my daughter or my husband, any random thought occurring to me, would make its way into YOUR brain. Several months ago, however, events conspired to alert me to the fact that, GUESS WHAT, not everyone is interested in sharing to that extent! I have really reined in, therefore, my tendencies to be "honest". I try very hard now, to not cross boundaries. Just as I do at school with my little ones, give space, observe, knowing that the less interference the better I now do at home. So that is a big Yippee!
At the moment I am looking at two situations in my life with two friends. One has a spouse who is being outrageous in some pretty socially unacceptable behavior and this friend is still in denial. Another is one who has gone back to a "dark side" spiritual teacher who really stifled and hurt her before; really crossing boundaries. This man does NOT treat people with dignity or respect whatsoever. She was so relieved to be OUT of the cult at one point and really found her voice again. Inexplicably she has returned. I've barely said anything at all regarding this turn of events, but did say one MILD thing and she has ceased speaking to me. I do have ways of contacting her if I choose, but I will not.
I'm holding my tongue in both situations. This is new territory. Wish me luck.
Posts
